Jukkasjärvi, Sweden

   Ah, time for a throw back. 

                                                Fellas, may I ask....

                                                                                 ...What's cooler than being cool? 



alright, alight, alright, aright, alright, alright, alright, alright ,alright, alight, alright, aright, alright, alright, alright, alright        now ladies!

Yeah? .....Now were gonna break this thing down in just a few seconds, now don't have me break this thing down for nothing. 

I want to see you on your coldest adventure AH! 

Lend me some Sweden, I am your granne!

or whatever he says 



Off you go from the Kiruna airport to a bus, to this arch. It's heavenly. Too surreal to be cold. 

Seriously, think of the most magical place you have ever been. Got it? Great!
Now go fuck yourself because it doesn't compare to this. 




And whatever these are! I don't care but its ICE!


OK, OK. Lets address the elephant in the room




cause its fucking cute!!

ha ha, I knowww.  "hOw CoLd iS iT"??

And we won't bring this up again, alright? 

Because this is worth it! AND the gear they give you will basically have you sweating the whole time anyways. 

Ice King but make it real life. 


And for being in the Arctic circle, there is A LOT to do!

Like: Take in a traditional culture and structures of the indigenous Sámi people

Enjoy the history of an extremely old local church 

Have yourself an out of control tipsy adventure flipping snowmobiles 

"Relax" with a traditional Swedish spa experience
The "SPA" experience involved a sauna, whipping yourself with branches, some jaunty tunes, jumping naked into a frozen lake, then dipping into a hot bath. 

Check out the hilarity at the local market
and enjoy the hilarity of off brand Helur Kitty and suggestive cat food.


Then end your day having some drinks, many, many, drinks. 

Tell me you were drunk all day without telling me you were drunk all day

I should note, the food was incredible beyond belief. 
They served elk, which is amazing!

This was like the UN. People from all over the world in this room just vibing. 

In fact, this is the adventure that lead me to New Zealand. For in the steam room of the hotel *yes, steam room*  I would meet a mysterious figure who annoyingly questioned my food preferences and left me wanting for nothing more than sample the sweet bacons of NZ. 

And the, "what in the fresh hell is this here for" award goes to THIS:

The most Arctic capable vehicle...is a Scirroco 

I can't even explain this place. 



Memoir of a Gay-sha!

Perhaps the only one country I had any kind of preparation to see is Japan.
Took Japanese language courses in college with the plan on visiting and being able to navigate without an issue... and to my credit, I did v well... with my iPhone. LOL

I landed in Tokyo coming from my trip to Bangkok....requiring a much needed rest.

The excitement cannot be overstated!

side note: JAL Airlines hands down has the best food ever..; you enjoy the menu from their "restaurant" called BEDD which you can order on a tablet at your seat. I ordered so many bento boxes LOL

Now, when I would dream of Tokyo, I imagined a blend of high fashion, goofy outfits, talking robots, classic temples, cherry blossoms, and anime themed everything. Tokyo didn't disappoint on any one of those dreams! o(≧∇≦o)

Seriously,  I am so in love with this culture, I'm convinced there is a Japanese school girl in my soul that loves kawaii everything; she was finally home!! 
ヘ(=^・ω・^= )ノ 
 Yes. Yes. Yes  
The Harijuku Ghillie Suit
       I stayed in Shibuya in the Harajuku district to be in the heart of the Tokyo fashion scene...where the catwalk got its claws, Irasshaimase! (thanks Gwen Stefani). You will see a lot of Japans cute fashion being represented in this area, a plus for people watching.  I was able to see most of what I wanted just walking about, which is great because the super kick ass transit system is confusing af to me.  щ(゜ロ゜щ)
A school girl in a man in a robot woman. #OnlyInJapan

First stop, Yoyogi Park...
You can literally wander in this park for hours on end, which I was happy to do. You will eventually come across Meiji Jingu Temple, an incredible temple in the heart of Tokyo. Honestly, its easy to forget you're in a massive city when you're in this park... (ノ^ヮ^)ノ*:・゚✧


 I loved all the photo ops here. Plus, I found my dream door. (thats gotta be a normal thing)
I. Love. This. Door ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

The scope of this trip was for me to recover from the shit show that was Bangkok, which was easily accomplished. Tokyo's skyline is pretty and easy to get lost in thought staring into...I highly recommend finding a place with a tub on the roof, it was a flawless way to enjoy the view and relax for long periods.  (๑꒪▿꒪)*

Taittinger and views.

In the morning its off to do some shopping! Holy shit, they have a store chain called SoftBank which are like our Sharper Image on steroids...actual robots in there. She talked and twerked! Tech-boner! 

but actually, tho.. she said no. :: ˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎) ::
Ha. I almost married that robot. Surely it's legal here.
These were the guests I invited to the wedding
Would have had our honeymoon at the Robot Restaurant that night (duh).  Robot Restaurant puts on an hour long dinner show with battling robots, dancers, crazy costumes, and some wild techno music. This is a must see for a weird Japan enthusiast.

Alas, I settled into a bitter truth: A gay man cannot marry a heterobot. On to the next...

 I explored every corner I could and still felt like I hadn't seen enough! Not to be a size queen but Tokyo Tower is goddamngigantic! 

o(〃^▽^〃)o    Daddies~!
I freakin love this city, the food was incredible, a niche for anything you could imagine existed here, and yet still I could not find a place to rest my heart. Perhaps next time I will find love...

Probs not, got a cool umbrella tho...
I mean, like, a super cool umbrella!
Oh! The classic car scene was unexpected:

Till next time Tokyo! ╭( ・ㅂ・)و ̑̑ ˂ᵒ͜͡ᵏᵎ⁾✩

View story highlights and more behind the scenes on my IG Chrisfacts