Cannes

Cannes 

He’ll never love you like I Cannes, Cannes, Cannes.  

Today was Cinco De Mayo and I'm in fucking France, ugh, which meant my first stop would be for a celebratory margarita. I picked a restaurant called Le Flamenco, as they would surely have margaritas, and its perfect view for people watching at the waterfront (which looked like  Huntington Beach by the time I got up from the table). I sat there for about an hour n a half struggling to translate what Spanish dishes were in French. Only to fail pronouncing them to a waitress who speaks no English....ended up with two entree salads, my margarita and some kind of fish burger lol I felt like I was back in Morocco ordering blindly off of menus I couldn't read...

Huntington Beach

Enough booze and.... HB

 

laced up my walking shoes and feelin dem margaritas,  I  was ready take in the city. First and foremost, there is more shopping than you could possibly do in a lifetime….except no Lululemon...not basic enough. Pretty parks and all of the charming things you would expect in a Mediterranean city were present, yada yada...I genuinely felt like an invader to this town....it doesn't give you the vibe that it was meant to be a tourist trap.  

Le Tourists

When they find that gay porn under your bed

No set agenda for this stop meant I didn’t have anything special I was seeking out. I simply wandered around the city in all directions until I needed a nap. Public art scene on the streets is fairly unique in certain sections of the city (touristy shopping places). 

Cum Bucket

Chopstick Practice

I was most enthralled with a flower shop.  Colors and varieties I had never seen before were displayed in the most charming fashion. The smell was intoxicating, and if I had the ability to keep plants alive, I would have bought everything in the store. 

not even a video

Duped again

                       

WHAT ARE THEEEEEEESE?

......

I got my art-school-bitch vibe going with some of the pics . Eh.

Great pic of a dude looking at a girl, looking at her phone....the statue was in my way. 

its all about the bush 

a nightmare for those without depth perception

not sketchy enough...

Of all of the....skkkrrrt. 
 TBH,  didn't see as much of this place as I could have. Kind of got wrapped up in those margaritas. Cannestop the feelin 

is mayonnaise an instrument?

"Remember those walls I built?"...

Cannes is just super cool to chill out in. It’s pretty small, and I was coming the week before the film festival thing they do, which the locals surely dread for all of the swarms artsy movie types. I was jazzed as fuck to be missing all those crowds, since it was already pretty difficult to get around some places with the foot traffic.

A .  Door. 

Add caption

This pigeon was my absolute favorite part of the entire day because it was serving some serious lewks in the French Riviera.  Slay pige or you’lll get eliminated

This video actually works.

Paris

Bougie girl, grab her hand 

Fuck that bitch, she don't wanna dance

 'Scuse my French, but I'm in France

Paris, you have the most uppity persona of any city this side of Monaco... the only way to vibe with this is to be unimpressed by all your best...and that starts with how you arrive.

Bishhhh. My Boyfriend is the best <3

OKay, back to the city..

The buildings, cars, shopping centers, and everything you see is done to the highest extent possible...and then pissed on by some drunk bastard. Palaces lined the streets where unsavory activities stand in stark contrast to the grandeur of their backdrop. People were rude, yet not to me...because they kept asking me where in the Netherlands I was from...meanwhile, my American looking buddies were snubbed..

Who wants a blowie here? 

                                                                                  Or here? 

No? oh well. I'm off to see Basic Bitch Paris: Tower Eifel, the Lourve, and Notre Dame.

This bitch was bigger than I expected!

           

                                         Not  a bad view from up here, can't even smell the city 

 Neato...What about the Lourve???

Where TF does that pyramid go? 

Get to the POINT Ventura!

                                                          Oh, another pyramid.

Now, I am no art aficionado, yet I adored being able to put my own spin on my fave works:

                 

I couldn't understand why they care about this lame unbothered bitch, the ceiling was way cooler. 

ANDDDD thennn

Notre-Dame:

Keep a hunch when you're in here or you'll piss off Quasimodo 

yep.

*eye roll* oh, sooooo pretty

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FUCKKKKK YOUR GAY HATING CHURCH!

The whole experience was top notch, and the Park Hyatt Vendome we stayed at was slick!! 

the BEST feature of any hotel. A sink for the shower!!!

They had the 2^nd highest rated restaurant in all of Pairs at the time, which meant wearing my wooden shoes in there went over well with the locals of this Michelin Star rated situation.....this Dutch boy carried on Holland swag all night. 

These drinks are beaaaaaautifulllll. However, I require some seedy gay nonsense to feel fulfilled....

             

I danced on lighted platforms above the crowd of an underground bar like a fool!  This bar closed at 7am and I lasted for most of it, right up until I was licking people and not standing well LOL

The next day sucked! I needed the hair of the dog to get over thi...

thats a sign...

Take it to the head...

I liked this place, even if it is kind of le twat.