Isola d'Elba

Isola d'Elba 

Of course, in the planning of my trips are rooted in some stupid populate reason...I arrive in Africa on a 12:30 flight, spend nights in Bangkok to be humbled, Hawaii for Monana, so on and so forth. SO...lets have a guess at where I was going with this...  

The island of Elba was my first taste of Italy that wasn't a man or olive garden, so I was a little not sure how to act! This island under the Tuscan sun is known for white beaches and the place of exile for Napoleon.  I didn't know about the Napoleon thing at the time, but now I have significantly less sympathy for him because ban me to this place, I DARE YOU!!!  There was a v general idea of  things I needed to do…. eat pizza…. drink wine….and use stereotypical hand gestures. Perhaps my time with all those Italian men and breadsticks will pay off won't 



 I'm no Diane Lane but I'm still out here looking for adventure. I started my day with an Italian workout, then set my eyes on the nearest castle looking structure AND fled. Covering this whole island on foot is a do-able challenge if you don't mind super long walks and -have heaps of time to spare. It's slightly larger than Catalina island in California, but you can't compare the two in any other way. Biking would be the best option here to get a-b quickly while enjoying the scene but thats not my speed...  ..Italy just made me happy

I'm making my way up a hill to Forte Falcone... taking it all in... this didn't come off like some horrid place you'd send someone  as a punishment...even if all these cool buildings weren't here, the island is a beaut!!  Sure, its not as big as you thought it would be, but you still have fun on it....and that goes the same for this island.  wait. wut. 

the pizza shop with the blue awning...incredible. 


I'm not kidding. look at this place!.... *cue artsy shot of a bird and unique plants*


I walked  down the coast to see what the neighborhoods were surprise, full of bush.. 

Much like OG breadsticks, the hills are fu*king endless. You walk away from the coast, up a random hill and boom, this emerges. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? THIS WAS A PUNISHMENT!?!?!?  

My directionless journey landed me roughly 10 miles (12KM )from the start into the middle of a residential neighborhood on some random street a couple miles out from Porto Azzuro. Suddenly, a large group of bikes comes wizzing by me....and as the last riders glide by I hear "HI CHRIS!"....."HEY Chris!"....and turn to see my favorite Australians staring back at aussies...<3  

...Story time:

I met this Australian couple on my boat during the "ho for history" booze and tapaps tour in Cartagena ..they were V impressed by my ability to booze.  I ran into them next in an absolutely random alley way in the middle of Barcelona.....and then once more  in Monaco hanging around the be in the middle of some random ass residential neighborhood in the hills of this Italian city had me laughing so hard i nearly peeded.

Right here in front of the villa  cosmopoli 

another endless feeling stretch of walking and I ran into signs for Capo Bianco beach....I like beach... 

Okay, here we gooooo!
It doe
 OH WOW! I can't wait to get down to the water.... 

Lots of beaches on this island have this lewk

uhhhh. WTF!?  my friend, this is not a "beach", it's a stone garden on the water...

this should hurt your feet just looking at it

seriously, these are good sized rocks to be walking on like its some fine grit sand that playfully falls between your toes. Another consistent Italian experience filled with lots of :ouch:, :ahhh: :fuck: and :ohhhhh: 

All this nonsense was making me hungry. *opens google* "pizza"....the best one is back literally where I began....10 miles away...

What is this? center for ants!?..
                            This building is fat shaming.

Wishing I had a slinkey the time I arrived they tell me "full menu no and wine only". (didn't need the excuse but since its all they had). 

I was still scarred from Monaco and literally fork n knifed this pizza.  but what a dayyyyy. My list had been completed for my first time in Italy, and I leave happily  with a belly full of Italian goodness. 


Enjoy your exile Napoleon, you freakin idiot....