Portofino, Italy is the kind of place you would expect to run into a James Bond villain. You have stunning villas in the hills with tiny roads begging for a car chase, and a small port town no larger than you'd need to have an epic combat scene.....
|Okay, I can kind of see it...missing a big intimidating yacht full of villains tho|
|Ha...spoke too soon....|
The big creepy yacht came in a little bit after I arrived, which completely sold the 007 vibe. The vibe got stronger as the day went on...I was off to Hotel Splendido for olive oil tasting....because wine tasting is for the peasants. This hotel also looks like it belongs on set...look at this beautiful bish...(i had to pull this pic from TripAdvisor because literally you need an ariel view to see this and no chopper for me today)
|Nothing nefarious ever happens here....we swear.|
|If you stir it....I swear to god Karen.|
| FUCKING CUTE|
Endless green, tons of blue, and flowers blooming thier best blooms...movie quality shit
SO. MUCH. VIEWS
|That rando sea side house that could blow up at any second....|
|Behold, the castle|
The castle was not what was expected, (typical dead end in the plot) , I rechecked my map and set a new course for the next logical spot...
|I won't pretend I took this for the drink.....|
|*Menacing Orchestral Music*|
As it turns out, I did infact meet my nemesis....the most evil of conversational hangups...the disaster that is the US Imperial System vs Metric System. Allow me to set the scene. Sunny, breezy, I am two Espresso martinis into this and a group of travelers sit down whom are no older than myself. Jabber begins...
|I see you|
|This one screams secret layer...or is me as a door.|
|Somebody could trip|
|At some point they will see me taking pics of them, taking video of me|
The next time you want to feel like you're in a Bond film....you know where to go.