East Coast - United States of America

Be Young, Be Dope, Be Proud...Like an American


😏


..."She got it from her momma" applies to more than just inherited ass. My early childhood was rife with family trips to upstate New York to visit vineyards, Canada for fishing expeditions, strolling the boardwalk in Ocean City, MD, and melting in Georgia's heat. These were the catalysts to my now unchecked wanderlust. Taking a look back now, there are plenty of great things to do that don't require a visa....but you should get one for the sake of Canada.  


There is really nothing in the middle... 


Seriously yeah, I spent so much time in Canada as a smol child I was actually selecktid as the oreiginal stand-in moodel for the "Shania Now" album for being the mooset authentic appeering....plus, I carrie hints of the regional dialect due to living in a state that shared only e body o water as the boundree between the countries. 



I digress....



               This is a America.

New York


New York City

NYC in one pic... 

full stop. 

City life is not for me. Reckon I'm a total island and beaches kind of dude. Whenever the opportunity to go to NYC came up, I shut that right down! "Concrete jungle where dreams are made?" not mine.. "It's been waiting for you?" for me? nope. "If you want to make it big, NY is the place to be"...*dismissive wanking gesture* 
However, a good cause, bourgeoisie venue, Broadway, and access to some private club were enough to sway me ..for curiosity sake.

Basic Bitch Broadway:

The production was called The Prom, it rocked. 

It makes no fucking sense for me to do review of a Broadway play. I say things like "wicked was tits", "that ghost man in the church one is five tits outta six", "Chicago is also a city". . By no means do I have credibility for this statement, but here I go....The Prom was excellllennntttttits. 
Basically about a small town dyke going to prom in a politically backwards community. Netflix  interpretation made a mockery of this solid & relatable comedy, yada yada, great formula though.

..a tale as old as time...
       
     a  view from my room                              a basic NY thing


Classic Cunty Club:

The university club was something else. The library smelled incredible and it's many floors, corridors, and chambers are elegant beyond reason. If you ask me, this is a prime example of an institution that needs to check its privilege because I did not see much, if any diversity outside of some homos. I cant put all of this experience into words, I've got some nice vids on IG. Only managed to grab a couple thanks to strict rules about having your phone out. (shit like that implies it will be stuffy)




Vexing Venue Vernacular:

Welp, the good cause at The Plaza that brought me into this loveably toxic city had arrived. A tired ass chicken dinner followed by an out of character so-so performance by Todrick Hall was overshadowed only by the guest speakers incessant overuse of gay slang to drive home that we are the community hunty qween yassss T from all the basic gay guest speakers: Gus Kenworthy to JVN.. Nothing says "donate to our cause" like talking to us as though you're a 14 year old girl...still, cute venue. Where I hope to have my June wedding.

 

this allusion is problematic, mein fuhr...


ugh. and that performance. Did he even try ? 





Ah. Beauty. 

Not much else was on my mind. Cold af in NY compared to home in Cali so I chilled out watching New Yorkers be New Yorkers.


Watkins Glen

Most people won't know this place exists,  it is overshadowed by the city thing that NY has but I alway loved these places more. Picture it, I'm probably 5 so there won't be any wild-ass debauchery but, the first trip I remember getting excited about was to Watkins Glen. This tiny village along the Finger Lakes region is home to an absolutely incredible state park and one hell of a gorge to hike through. Steps carved into the rock face, beautiful walking bridges, neato rock formations, and waterfalls galore!  Everywhere you looked was like a scene from a movie...Seriously, look at that fuckin foliage! Running around here as a kid was awesome.  
                        *Pray Tell voice*   ...and the category is....FALLLLL.
          
      (/^▽^)/[10]         (ノ・ェ・)ノ[10]      (/ ‘з’)/[10]          (╯✧∇✧)[10]


          

                Seneca Lake isssss massive!




The little town is fantastic too. Back in the day they projected laser light shows of dinosaurs on the gorge walls. I'd imagine they still pull stops like that out from time to time. If you're into wine, camping, hikes, etc and don't want to do all the basic Cali things, try out NY. Esp during the fall.

Lake Chautauqua

Also in the upstate region, this lake has family friendly adventure written all over it -in an almost haunting way.. 
My first trips here started when I was little 6/7, staying in a beautiful home on the water with family and their friends for rando holidays like Halloween. This sizzled out after a few years, since we feel you can only do so much lake stuff. 

like this (minus that right wing).

Interestingly enough, decades later I would date someone who would also visit this lake...awe fuck....which was super nostalgic until it sunk in that they literally come here EVERY year. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.  Some kind of sick version of groundhog day, except it drains all of your vacation time and doesn't have a happy ending. Sure, you have a blast drinking and doing lake stuff.... BUT where are the scenery changes? The clubs? Bars? Interesting anything!?  ...NO. It is just the lake so shut up, get on your floatie, and have a martini. 


UGh. 


   

Notice a general lack of pictures?  Yep. 

lake stuff.

Virginia

Richmond 
**Banjo Plays Softly in the distance**

Regal, but boring.


There we go.....

 
Soooooo, I 100% did not expect to like this city at all! Virginia?? Richmond? Southern drawls, ew. Racist monuments? no thank you.  Anti-gay sentiment? not here for it. When I found I would be forced to spend a month here on a work trip, I objected! 

Me: Won't stand for this! Fuc...
Work: "WE WILL GIVE YOU A GREAT PER DIUM"
Me: I uh,....holy shit, what cool city! ... can't wait. 

When I say I was objected this trip, I mean it! I was so worried about being "too gay" in this strange place that I 2007 Britney shaved my head and adopted this extreme hetero persona ...

FOR NO FUCKING REASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After just two days I realized this place was not what it seemed. Richmond has TONS AND TONS of museums, excellent street art, cat cafes, Edgar Allen Poe's house???, A random Pride fest!?!?!?, seemingly impromptu Oktoberfest fest??!, a pop up Pokémon Symphony?????

All these pleasant surprises turned this entire thing around! The food was prime!! i had never had Pimento Cheese?? OMG! And all the festivals were wild .....[update] and as of now the city is finally getting rid of their racist monuments!


OH...Yes, a POKEMON SYMPHONY!!!! Grabbed four tickets for this the second I saw an ad while walking about. They took video bits of the Pokémon game from GameBoy, pieced the clips it into a story, and then played a whole Pokémon soundtrack via symphony with the film. 

The symphony concluded with what would become my favorite poem of all time:

...
"You and I were born
right here in the same world
For this one brief life, 
we are beneath the same sky.
...
The great flow of time.
 The wide expanse of space. 
We are lucky enough 
to share this lifetime we get"
....

*cries*


see, haha, not gay, not gay at all.


 
These people <3

Every weekend we went to a different festival. 1st Pride
     Brandi and I being cute                    I am sure I made these queens nervy

Following weekend was Oktoberfest! When you can't hold your phone, you know you did well.
..

Some sort of restaurant week came after the weekends of festivals. With it, some great brunch dishes debuted at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts aptly named fine-dining restaurant: Amuse



The best part is boozy browsing the museum and finding creepy look-a-likes....

Tell me this isn't Tina Fey.

Any-whom, when you're full of dread from the artworks, the cat cafe is not far from this spot so check it out and reduce your anxiety petting cats that don't want you to!!!

"I. fucking. love. cats." - Me
              go. away. human.                           need this                        plz stp. ok. iz done.

You can't get enough mad cat in your life, you also cannot eat enough pimento cheese.

that sweet bowl of cheeeeeese.

Finally, the biggest shock of all was the quality of people. These are some of the most genuine and interesting people I had met in a long time. Every craft brewery, drag brunch, cocktail bar, and restaurant had a burly bearded man with a work-hard backstory or an HBIC executive woman who did as she pleased. People co-existed as people do. Must be that southern hospitality. Then again, some of my faves were transplants...which is this guy from Cali:

LOOK !!!! 
He was, of course, a craft cocktail specialist. 
Easily one of the best I've experienced in the world. 

In all, we partied a good bit. Tried out almost every restaurant $$$+ thanks to a generous per diem and closed down a few rooftop bars (Kabana). Richmond wasn't ready for how Cali parties. Great people all over, tons of charm, and that small town vibe you just don't find in places this big.

*skrrrt* Edgar Allen Poe is a rando theme my travels.

All of my conceptions weren't married, they were all miss-conceptions. 🙃
🥁🥁
 

Florida


St Augustine

St Augustine is one of Americas oldest cities, and it claims this history alll over...it is even home to a hokey castle/fort
 THE least impressive one I've ever seen and I LOVE castles and forts
                                       

... if ones isn't enough, the guy down the street from us built this castle in the name of religion, because why not. 
                                              
                                    Seriously, why. why not? I dunno.      Boredom lvl. 100
                           

 

Like most places here, it looks best in the dark. The "night of lights" actually lasts a few weeks and the people here go nuts for it.     ...    I didn't.    My interests lie in booze, beaches, brunch, and butts. 


View... could be better. 

Much better.  


The food scene is great here too. I have to recommend the Uptown Swinery and San Sabastian Winery.
 


I cum for cheese. Most everything lacks my usual debauchery, yet I still found places to stuff my face with all the gluttony of any food driven hedonist. 




 Then I do the beach stuff. Ya know. 



yada yada


"Take Rolo to the beach house they said, it'll be fun they said"... as she runs away.
       When I call her bitch    vs   when I call her MY bitch

anyways. 
 Pelicans are scary. 
zoom into that beak. You're welcome. 

What else? 
Covid life means a retreat to HomeDepot and staying in the workshop for a week or two is the most exciting thing to do.  

Insert wood joke


"Pretend its a sexy man" - I mastered posing with the toools and stuff. 


After coming here almost monthly for the last half year, it's not such a bad place. I don't love it, but I tolerate it. My favorite trip down here was spent meeting up with Erik, if you saw those IG stories, you know it was a good ass time. 


Boozy bishes at Incahoots - Jakcsonville 


I guess I don't show many pics of these guy; my family <3

                                                               

Honorable mentions:  Chicago, IL. Atlanta, GA, and Seattle, WA.