United States of America

 Be Young, Be Dope, Be Proud...Like an American

Lets take a covid pause from international travel to look at home: 

Wanderlust has been in me since I was very young..."she got it from her momma" applies to more than my ass. Family trips to upstate New York to visit vineyards, Canada for fishing expeditions, strolling the boardwalk in Ocean City MD, and melting in Georgia's heat were the catalyst to my unchecked exploration. My mind always drifted somewhere between dreaming big and not dreaming big enough. All I knew was I need see more of the world.

There is really nothing in the middle... 

Seriously tho, I spent so much time in Canada as a kid I was actually chosen as the original model for the Shania Now Album....
I digress....

New York

Watkins Glen

The first trip I remember getting excited about was to Watkins Glen. A tiny village along the Finger Lakes region, home to an absolutely incredible state park and one hell of a gorge. Everywhere you looked was like a scene from a movie...Seriously, look at that fuckin foliage! *Pray Tell voice*   ...and the category is....FALLLLL.
                     (/^▽^)/[10]         (ノ・ェ・)ノ[10]      (/ ‘з’)/[10]          (╯✧∇✧)[10]


                Seneca Lake isssss massive!

This part of town is fantastic. Back in the day they did laser light shows of dinosaurs on the gorge walls. I'd imagine they still pull stops like that out from time to time. If you're into wine, camping, hikes, etc and don't want to do all the basic Cali things, try out NY. Esp during the fall.

Lake Chautauqua

Also in the upstate region, this lake has family friendly adventure written all over it. I recall my first trips here staying in a beautiful home on the water with my family and their friends. Interestingly enough, decades later I would go on to date someone who would also visit this lake...which was super fun and nostalgic until it sunk in that they literally come here EVERY year. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.  Some kind of sick version of groundhog day, only with all of your vacation time you get each year.  you have a blast drinking and doing lake stuff...drinking.

(not this)

like this (minus that right wing).


lake stuff.

New York City

full stop. City life is not for me, reckon I'm a total island and beaches kind of bitch. Whenever the opportunity to go to NYC came up, it would be shot it down like a plane over Ukraine. "Concrete jungle where dreams are made?" blah.. "It's been waiting for you?" nope, not me. However, add in a good cause (Point Foundation), a bourgeoisie venue (The Plaza Hotel), Broadway, and access to an elitist club (The University Club)... I am in!....for curiosity sake.

The production was called The Prom, it rocked. 

Surely giving a review of Broadway play makes no fucking sense for me to do. I say things like "wicked was tits", "that ghost in the church one is nice" and "I like the music play where she had it coming if youda been there". By no means do I have credibility for this statement, but, The Prom was amazing.  Basically about a small town dyke going to prom in a politically backwards community. a solid & relatable comedy, indeed.
..a tale as old as time...
    view from my room                               basic NY thing

The university club was something else. The library smelled incredible and was elegant beyond reason, I cant put it into words, the video below will have to do. Only managed to grab a couple photos thanks to strict rules about having your phone out. yada yada.

Welp, I came to this city for another Point Foundation event, loved all the gay guest speakers from Gus Kenworthy to JVN! If you have to pick any charity to support, this is the one! The largest LGBT scholarship organization in the US! Todrick Hall gave a so-so performance at the end...still, cute venue at the Plaza Hotel...where I still hope to have my June wedding.

Not much else was on my mind. Cold af in NY compared to home in Cali so I chilled out watching New Yorkers be New Yorkers.



There we go. Proof I take nothing seriously.

Regal, but boring.

Soooooo I did not expect to like this city at all! Virginia?? Richmond? Southern drawls, ew. Racist monuments? no thank you.  Anti-gay sentiment? not here for it. When I found I would be forced to spend a month here on a work trip, I objected! Wont stand for this!
....holy shit, it was a cool city, I was really wrong. TONS AND TONS of museums, excellent street art, a cat cafe,  Edgar Allen Poe's house, random Pride fest, seemingly impromptu Oktoberfest fest, and a pop up Pokemon Symphony turned this entire thing around! The food was prime!! you ever have  Pimento Cheese?? OMG! .....[update] and as of now the city is finally getting rid of their racist monuments!

Yes, a POKEMON SYMPHONY!!!! I grabbed tickets for this the second I saw an ad for it while walking about. They took bits of the Pokemon game from GameBoy, pieced the clips it into a story, and then played the whole soundtrack via symphony with the film. 

The symphony concluded with what would become my favorite poem of all time:

"You and I were born
right here in the same world
For this one brief life, 
we are beneath the same sky.
The great flow of time.
 The wide expanse of space. 
We are lucky enough 
to share this lifetime we get"

These people <3

Every weekend we went to a different festival. 1st Pride
     Brandi and I being cute                    I'm the only monster here 

Following weekend was Oktoberfest

Some sort of restaurant week came after the weekends of festivals. With it, some great brunch dishes debuted at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts aptly named fine-dining restaurant: Amuse

The best part was being boozy walking the museum and finding creepy look-a-likes....

Tell me this isn't Tina Fey.

Any-whom, when you're full of dread from the artworks, the cat cafe is not far from this spot so check it out and reduce your anxiety petting cats that don't want you to!!!
"I. fucking. love. cats." - Me
              go. away. human.                             need this pillow                        plz stp. ok. iz done.

You can't get enough mad cat in your life, you also cannot eat enough pimento cheese.

that sweet bowl of cheeeeeese.

Finally, the biggest shock of all was the quality of people. These are some of the most genuine and interesting people I had met in a long time. Every craft brewery, drag brunch, cocktail bar, and restaurant had a burly bearded man with a work-hard backstory or an HBIC executive woman who did as she pleased. People co-existed as people do. Must be that southern hospitality. Then again, some of my faves were transplants...my favorite of which is this guy from Cali:

He was, of course, a craft cocktail specialist. 
Easily one of the best I've experienced in the world. 

In all, we partied a good bit. Tried out almost every restaurant $$$ and up thanks to a generous food budget and closed down a few rooftop bars (Kabana). Richmond wasn't ready for how Cali parties. Great people all over, tons of charm, and that small town vibe you just don't find in places this big.

*skrrrt* Edgar Allen Poe is a rando theme in nearly all my travels.

I guess all of my conceptions weren't married, they were all miss-conceptions. 🙃

California holds a special place in my heart, somewhere next to the left ventricle. It is one of the places on this list that at one time I called home! Much of my professional/personal development would come from experience on the West Coast..*Picture it* basic ass Midwestern gay goes out to find a better life in Cali....groundbreaking, hot off the press * scene*
Yep, this is what Alifornia Girls look like.

....The majority of my SoCal life was spent living in Irvine, Costa Mesa, Newps, San Diego, and Palm Springs. [note this is everywhere except LA]. Living an hour from LA was as close as I ever needed to get. Actual traffic nightmare.  With that in mind, San Diego is very livable because of ample green-space, shit traffic but not LA shit,  and excellent proximity to the water. I digress! You can google everything you would want to know about these places, this is going to be an extremely esoteric locals suggestion list:

Orange County

OC life as one pic

 Orange county is great! Its sleepy, expensive, housewives rule the streets in their 6 figure cars, and of course is home to all of your fave uppity shopping. You can't go wrong with any restaurant attached to a beach, inland is that Disney thing, and though the gay scene is...limited... you have one shining example of a prime gay dive bar....lookin at you Tin Lizzy! Choose your own adventure with OC, there is honestly something for anyone..."they get bigger the closer you get to the water" is not just for the dinosaurs.

Laguna has some great tide pools, btw.

I have close to 5500 photos around Orange County alone, yet you really only need to see one. There is a hike in Laguna off the 133 mapped as "The Willow Staging Area"; early into the hike you will see the view below... look closely.





 This fucking rock serving the tongue out emoji is not one of my horrid "Photoshop" situations. 
Never ceased to put a smile on my face.  
Some basic teenage cavegirl did this.

Los Angeles

When you do go to L.A. its to party! WeHo is of course, the gay place to be. Basic ass LA, you'll find yourself  with some celebs at fun charity events in Beverly Hills.
Babes, Brits, and Burberry

I adore Cheyenne Jackson



                                                   Leona Lewis, NBD. (๑′ᴗ‵๑)I Lᵒᵛᵉᵧₒᵤ♥

When you're not bein fancy. Go to Weho! I'm a blazing saddles kind of guy. 

TIP FOR TOURISTS: All of LA is discussed in the following formula no matter the type of person you're speaking to.... artsy types, hipsters, lesbos, whatever, they all do this.....

We came in from [insert SoCal city/ LA region] SD to [prominent LA neighborhood] West Hollywood to party at [insert basic gay bar name] The Abbey and brunch at [ trendy brunch spot] Taste on Melrose, while we're staying in the [expensive hotel] Beverly Hilton penthouse.

You can honestly walk away from a quick conversation with someone having all these pieces of information... SO.. practice your LA speak..."gloat to yourself about yourself ".....where I'm from, where I'm going, where I've been.
I love this LA dude too much to tell him he is basic. 


                                      always a party. love these guys


LA of course has everything. Want to dress up as your favorite whatever and go to a place where everyone else does it, but can't afford Comic-con in San Diego? BOOM. Wondercon LA! 


Irving nailed it, I loooked like a rando trapped in a net.

Seriously.......nobody wanted pictures with me.

Even gender bent Mario wasn''t having me.

W(h)e had a great time tho. 

I'll note this is not my first costume fail...

"I'll be Brett Michaels" 




Ha ha, no, you'll be strung out Sarah Connor

Want some culture? Getty Villa. 

Want strange sex with a nearly plastic looking man? 

Get on Grindr. 

Don't have much else to say about LA. Its LA.

San Diego 

You can find a new adventure in San Diego every day! I adore this city and its neat layout. I lived just above its iconic Balboa Park, in the gayborhood Hillcrest.  Hands down some of the best food in SoCal is in San Diego from "Queestown" in Little Italy to "Sallys" down at the Harbor. You could write all day and still have more to say about this city. A must see is Tacos Libertad, an unassuming taco spot with an incredible speakeasy in the back. I wont ruin the surprise with photos, but you absolutely need to check it out! Go during Pride and you won't be disappointed, there is tons of fuckery to get into. Personally suggest taking any adventure that goes from outdoor party to alleyway blowjob.

I may have an album of just skies 

Spent most of my days taking walks around Balboa. Check out the botanical garden, its like a massive bird cage. SO. MANY. MUSEUMS. Balboa Park was built as a World Fair thing and it does not disappoint. I've got words of advice for anybody visiting this park.......Model. Train. Museum. Sure, there is a model train museum in Old Town, but this one is muuuuuch larger, albeit lacks the humor of its competition.

Stop into any Hillcrest bar and you're sure to make friends....

Typical day in SD

"paint me like on of your death dolls"

The foooood and man scene is amazingggg. 

The Gay Agenda: On Sunday, we brunch. 

Pride here is shenanigans central. LA is nice but pride in SD is perfection. 

San Diego isn't ALL fun....its games too!

                                      ...You see, I have this favorite tree at the edge of Balboa park....this bish:




When I would go on dates, I would ask them to get inside (the easy part) and then enjoying the hilarity watching them try to get out.

Oh, woofy Brazilian Rodrigo. 




and my sweet southern belle Jordan.

 *sips tea* loved putting guys in that tree. miss that the most.

San Francisco 

Ok ok, no trip to California is complete without a stop in the big San Fran. Known for gay kink fisting parties on the streets, big tech, steep roads, a neato prison and one big ass bridge...SF is one hell of a time. 

I could bore you with typical touristy shots of that bridge with the golden gates, so I will. 

San Franciso trea...ah whatever. 

"I'm breaking up with you"

                                                           I looked 50 and 15.  

okay, got that over with. the real humor in these attractions is actually the shots of you get of people getting pics of them. This is at the bottom of Lombard street. If you don't know what that looks like, ask one of these people who cared enough to photograph it...I can only assume these people don't know you can google this extremely famous road. 

"man, this will look great in my blog"

The real gems are random things you can do in the harbor. Like be a child and get on a submarine or look at an old clock....what? they do it in London with Large Benjamin. 

I dig SF. A nice city to just put your camera away and enjoy it …we have all seen streets before Melissa, just stop. 

*takes pic of the ceiling*

Palm Springs 

Gay mecca! Something like 50% of the population is gay, meaning it was never hard to find a good ass time. I love this city....just not from June - Sept when its 100+ degrees (37 C)!

Country Club Living (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و

Palm Springs in 1 Photo

lol you literally just party all the time. ... that's what you do, okayyyyy? Honestly, the entire SD/OC/LA crowd looking for an escape goes right to Palm Springs for the weekend.
There is one street called Arenas that has the best gay bars in the area. Blackbook, Chill, Hunters, you really can't choose wrong. Plus, this city has some prime seedy nude resorts such as All Worlds for the adventure whore or.... the whore adventurer..

Daddies are plentiful in Palm Springs. {love my little PS family}

Palm Springs is all about getting together with your friends, drinking by the pool, and living the good  life. You don't need to plan anything when you visit, you will stumble on many things exploring. Have a niche interest in old Hollywood? There is no better place to be. 

Not a third wheel, this is a wheelbarrow. I'm dumping this load (*`へ´*) 彡3

find a pool, have a drink, repeat.

Catalina Island 

Come on. Honestly, the only true reason to go here is because of Step Brothers. You live this to understand the fuckin Catalina Wine Mixer!!!! Catalina is a tiny island across the Pacific from Long Beach. When I say tiny, I mean it! You can take a ferry, like a peasant, or do it the proper way and go by helicopter...duh!!! THE point!!!!! (its actually pretty cheap to go this way). Was a nice day trip to walk around the micro town, take a "safari" trip around the island, enjoy your wine, some good food, and then fly back.


        Candid.                                                                                    Best believe I called shotgun.

Look at the stark contrast between industrial Long Beach and this beaut of an island

Yep. little. 
Wine mixer, take a helicopter. that is all.



Not sure what to say about this, you see, if you don't have a concept of what to do here; don't come.

I dreamt of this place for 20 years before I had the chance to live and visit. My dream itinerary seemed endless  Fact: every American must think about this place at some point or another. 

Rule 1: Respect the people. Rule 2:  respect the island. 
you'll have no problems.

That's all the rules you need. Hawaii is another place on my list that after many visits, became home. Living there is the only way I could have made it through my list of island life desires. Skydiving? Check (if I'm gonna die it would be smashing into this island), snorkel with sea turtles? Check. Play in waterfalls? Check. run around with wild chickens? double check. You don't notice it but all the while the spirit of Aloha takes over you.

Unless you're supremely stuck up, its easy to be humbled.

 Sunsets. Beaches. Hikes. Swimming. Nature. You name it, this island has it. Go to Hulas, get boozy. Get nude with all your friends and take a moonlight soaked swim.    

ignore my little HeeHee.

                                  The skies and rainbows drive me nuts. #cloudporn

My view from home...All calm n shit...

....Then the coolest lighting storms light up the nights. 

You will find that the lighting here is good for both flattering and unflattering photos....


I love this man and his gams <3
       Ohana means family...

OKay, back to those skies.


You don't need an itinerary coming here. Simply existing is plenty. And be ready to meet heaps of people from all over the world...tourists like this place lol

      The Real Beauts of Waikiki

****OH. BY the way, nothing beat being in Hawaii for the worst Covid lockdowns in the US. Locals had the island nearly all to ourselves. Empty streets in Waikiki, all the beaches completely free of hoards, no lines, no bs, just me and my friends in our own little world; absolute heaven! I always dreamt about what Oahu would be like if there were no tourists, and it was incredibleeeee. a truly once in a life time silvering lining to an otherwise shit situation. **** 



Denver was a nice adventure. My first weekend  trip here ended up lasting about a month and was enticed by sexy men, great weed, and a 5K glowing foam thingy; I would have been a fool to say no. Denver is probably the best place to live in the US if you want all four seasons and all the best things to do. IT is a nature lovers paradise. Everyone has a six pack, even the babies.

Its not a wow kind of place in terms of the architecture, yet they do take some risks with this bridge thing. The views are more what this city is about, surrounded by beautiful mountains. Stapleton is my neighborhood recommendation for quite places to stay with easy access.....you know, the one spot that was an Airport in The Shinning but a suburb now.

Love Denver, its a nicer Cleveland.

Oh, the running part of that 5k really sucked. Cardi-no

Started fresh n clean

 Think we found a shortcut...the party was lit tho.
suds n buzzed
!!!!! Also, due to how relaxed the cannabis laws are in Colorado and California, you can actually take a trip to spend 4/20 in both states! No lost time over the timezones and blazing  it with the best cannabis the US can offer, what a day to forget!!!


...side note, on my 3rd or 4th trip (1st road trip) to Denver I was snowed into Vail due to a closed road situation. Vail is an extremely uppity ski resort town, and. it. shows! Getting snowed in here was a trap, since most of the hotels booked up super quick with the rest of the stranded drivers...leading to some unexceptionally priced accommodations that....did not meet the standard of their price point lol beats sleeping at the church....now not much else to do but get schwasted and eat hibachi. Snow sports are not as interesting to me as sitting by the fire, which is a shame because this place is prime af for whatever snow things tickle your fancy.

PHEW! For my Hawaiians that white stuff is snow....it happens.... when water gets too cold.

Florida (flo-rida, floor-eh-duh)

St Augustine

I'm not big on Florida. Its humid, wild, and deeply ...Tr*mp. 
However, one of my favorite humans ever is from Jacksonville (ERIKKKKKKKKKKKKK), and my family's getaway house is there just steps from the beach. It makes for a great escape during the madness of Covid ...what beats going to isolate myself from humanity near the water? I took this trip while visiting family on the mainland before my relo to Australia. ...Since flying is too risky, we road trip it. Pack of the dog, were goin to this beach. 

       When I call her bitch    vs   when I call her MY bitch

St Augustine is one of Americas oldest cities, and it claims this history alll over...there is even a hokey castle/fort.

and if ones isn't enough, the guy down the street from us built this castle in the name of religion ...and also just because why not. 
                                    Seriously, why. why not? I dunno.      Boredom lvl. 100

Like most places here, it looks best in the dark. The "night of lights" seems to last a couple months but the people go nuts for it. 

View... but make it better. 


I came for the cheese and flowers. Most everything lacks my usual debauchery, yet I still found places to stuff my face with all the gluttony of any food driven hedonist. 

 Then I do the beach stuff. Ya know. 

yada yada

Fact. Pelicans are scary. 

Covid life means a retreat to HomeDepot and staying in the workshop for a week or two. 

Insert wood joke

I have mastered posing with the toools.

It's not such a bad place. I don't love it, I tolerate it.  Perhaps one day I will be in the news as Florida man, but that is for another time. 

Honorable mentions:  Chicago is cool, Atlanta is pretty, and Seattle is slick too.

                                                                just for fun .    My crazy family.